Have the power to empower others

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As I published yesterday, I will be reviewing and commenting on the second panel discussion from the Level Up Conference on the 3rd of March. The topic was ‘Women in power; change in the world’ and the invitees were none better than the other. I especially liked Jeanette Forbes and Vicky Brock because both their experience included failure and drastic failure from which they recovered, pushed through, and succeeded better than if they didn’t fail! The moderator had really good points to talk about and I can only enumerate a few.

The topics merged one with another but what gave me food for thought are two of them, one critically and one emotionally. They have been talking about equality (expected, right?), but my issue here is that we don’t need that. Equality in the sense of rights has been very well obtained ages ago, and I am grateful for that, but today we need to take it one step further. And I’m quite upset that not even Mrs Brock talked about because she seemed quite critical and happy to share the downsides of a lot of actions. Anyway, I was mentioning it yesterday in the review of the university too, and I will very much do this again. Equity, this is the step we need to make. Because the panel was discussing how girls are raised compared to boys etc., so that to begin with talks about equity – giving the right tools, not the same! Because what should we do with equality? Give kids the same toys, trucks and building legos and math books? No! Not at all, so should we then gift boys make-up and girls trucks? No way! Shouldn’t we gift what they lack? Further when they grow as well, shouldn’t we teach them what they need to be at the same level, rather than teach them the same things? Equity. That is it. And I cannot wrap my head around it, how no one is open to talking about this! Is this term unknown to people – I am seriously pointing out, maybe it is not and because of my background, I am just very familiar with it. I mean equity, this has been around for ages:

And it’s exactly what should happen today. To begin with, women obviously wouldn’t be able, in general, and literally, do the exact same jobs as men do. I mean, obviously no woman ‘fights’ for her place in a constructions sites and whatnot. They ‘fight’ for their place on boards, CEOs and CFOs and all the Cs. And that is ok, but we need to address it – because this very reason is why they don’t, actually, ‘fight’ for equality. And I’m saying they because I have a different opinion on the matter. So, I say it again: equity. Bold, italic, how can I make it more outstanding?! Eq-ui-ty! As long as we’d give everyone the tools they need to level up at the same stage, then we’d be quite a fine society. But it’s not happening. However, this is not a bad story. I can understand these actions quite well and, in all honesty, I am happy to hear about successful women. But I do have critics of the whole ‘women and power thingy’ because I will simply say that: why?! And this has also been raised as a question at the end, and to be honest the answers let me down very much. So here it goes, why in the world are women trying to stand up to men, when the most problematic segment are women themselves. I am not saying that men aren’t, to some extent everywhere, trying to take over some jobs or at least being slightly arrogant and ignorant – but the worst enemy of women are women. And I say this, I would shout it out. It’s women who judge, not men. Women stare at your dress if you wear twice, women are jealous if you do something better than them, women are jealous of others’ families, women say they are precious little diamonds but when it comes to it they only cut and don’t shine if there’s no one who sheds light on them (diamonds reflect, refract, and disperse, they don’t shine). What I’m saying is, women are precious but they need attention all the time in order to shine, they cannot be self-content, if no woman knows their success, they’ll make it known, get awards, say stuff, look at me, here, I’m successful. And that is just a cycle which doesn’t end and does two very bad things: 1. gives anyone the impression that women can’t do the jobs because all they look for is attention and 2. makes them look superficial and pathetic. Now, I know these are very harsh words and I know a lot of women who are exceptions, but if what I’m talking about isn’t the majority, then what in the world are they trying to ‘fight’? Men don’t give up half of their life to put make-up on for others, they don’t need societal reassurance. And I know the history, but we’re past that, we’re not living in history, we’ve got the equality thanks to very hard working women and men at the time, so now we need to take it a step further. That is why feminism today has turned into a massive f-up. Because it ‘fights’ for whatnot but what’s important, that is telling women to stop being so interested in others’ businesses and, again, equity. Men today become themselves less and less manly as they were (good or bad, not the issue here), men themselves know that their female counterparts are powerful, but women manage to sustain this battle when they come up with 1. fake news, 2. fake everything godammit. I mean it does all tie in together and unfortunately for those women who are ‘alright’, these false accusations everywhere, the attention seeking and spending more time to advertise oneself than actually do whatever it is to be done, these obviously make anyone, men or other women, think that it’s a sham, it’s a ‘wtf’. And that splits this world, not the fact that some men are still sarcastic, ironic and demise a woman in power, that is easily fought by that woman and end of, because men are ridiculed by women as well, we know that, right? So it’s quite a two-way street here, there are no saints in the world. Even women who ‘fight’ for whatever equality they ridicule men, they say ‘oh these men are the big bad wolf’ no, you are the worst enemy of yourself. Call me traditional, with old perspective, or conservative, whatever you may, but in 2019 there’s no issue such as ‘men don’t cook’, ‘men don’t look after babies’ etc., they very much do so, the majority, for that matter! Because some a-holes don’t shouldn’t fuel a whole ‘fight’ because it’s 1. for the wrong reasons and 2. for the wrong aim. What do you want? To work in constructions on the field carrying blocks of rock or whatever they are called? No! Then get out there and tell the world about equity and then feminism may just regain its status and good face and, mostly, trust. So in saying this, I have to disagree with all this equal environment thing.

I am aware that this is a very sensitive topic and to be honest I don’t think I’m 100% right, I mean I will never claim that even I feel that I am. I know that the truth is always somewhere in the middle, but the extremes have to be addressed in order to find that middle. Right now we’re in a world that 1. is feminist or 2. hates feminism – overall, because I have met people, both men and women who are true feminists and deal with the right issues and have fine thinking. But, unfortunately, the majority decides.

Anyway, the panel wasn’t ‘feminism and its issues’, so I’ll reflect on the second part of it, the change in the world. This is what has to change, the equity instead of equality and the diminishing of the ‘women are women’s worst enemy’ issue. For the sake of it, I’ll say that I don’t care who is successful, man or woman, as long as the success is rightfully achieved and tells a story of hard work and not a superficial entitlement, then I couldn’t care less and I’ll applaud. I literally couldn’t care less what the sex of that person is and in all honesty, I ask you too, why do you care? What makes it so important what they hold in their… excuse me?! IT shouldn’t matter, as long as this society is built for the better, why does it matter so bloody much who build it? We’re spending more time caring about sexes and genders and crap than dealing with how we actually survive, because the world’s on a survival mode right now… Women do have the rights to do stuff, they’re no longer captives of a male dominant society, they can go out there and do what they know they have to do! There’s no one standing at the gates of businesses or investors saying ‘you’re a woman, I can’t let you in’. It’s hard, but it’s hard for everyone. Males have their stereotypes ‘oh you’re a male, you’re aggressive, you’re polite only on the surface, not trustworthy’ etc., so excuse me, but this thing is a highway to hell for everyone. … But hey, maybe it’s just me who sees it this way. I’d be the only one to fight for equity and, now, that’s something I’d do and I am already trying to raise awareness in a lot of ways. But I’m not entitled enough to have the coverage that hm ‘others’ do (I hope you see the irony in it and exactly why equity is needed).

However, now let this calm down and I’ll get emotional to talk about the second tapped into the topic: the impostor syndrome. Now for this, they made it very clear that it’s not just women who suffer it, so I can’t go on a rant for that, which is good. They said how one feels that they aren’t supposed to the job although they are literally trained for it. That they are bluffing, that they have no idea what they are doing and how are they then doing it? Now, I feel that as well, you see, and it gave me troubles with anxieties and depression phases, bipolar characteristics sometimes. It f- s-ks. It’s a terrible thing and a lot of people have this thinking, that ‘what the f- am I doing here’, and that is from a lot of reasons but I think the main one is security in the society. I am talking about this whole ‘gig job’ culture and the alienation from the importance of relationships. I am one who is damn focused on my career and there aren’t too many things I’d sacrifice, but to open up as I barely do, I am very aware that security is so important, and having security in your personal life is such a fuel, it empowers to go through whatever stuff because you can get home after it, you have that home, not the walls, not a house, you have a home. So in saying that, I have thought why this security can’t be established at the careers level. And the answer is simple: politics. The root of all evil is money, money which drives politics. Terrible little thing, that is money. Because of the open borders and migration patterns and the bloody-blah, you cannot have stable jobs. It’s a very complicated matter and besides the main point of this blog post, so I won’t go too much into it, but roughly these are the reasons why the gig job culture cannot defuse at this point in time. I do hope that at some point it will, but as a fact it cannot happen now – and it’s not a bad thing, to be honest, for a lot of people is golden – like migrants, like unskilled workers, like people who aren’t entitled, who don’t have ‘status’ whatever that is these days. So then I get back to say, to diminish these feelings of being an impostor in your own mind, in your own being and career for which you strived for, we need to care for our personal life, we need to learn and learn again how to have homes, how to be a home for someone – friends, lovers, whatever you want, anything counts. We need to let ourselves be in a home. Because… because we cannot live alone. We are social animals, like it or not, we cannot be individualistic to the point of suicide. That is what alienation leads to, I know it’s harsh, but I would know, honestly, that is where it gets us: mental suicide if not the actual job of it. And I know there are people who don’t have this impostor syndrome, that never had and will never have a clue of it. You guys, good for you! I’m not sarcastic, it is, but do know about it, get yourself educated, because you may have a friend who does, you may have someone who (as one would) hides it, who does suffer in silence. Do know about it and don’t judge it. It’s not an illness, it’s a thought, but a thought which may very well lead to serious illnesses if not ‘thrown’ off the edge of the minds.

So, I’ll wrap it up, I could go on and on about both issues, but there’s so much you guys would read anyway (ha ha ha).